Wash it NOW !
by closedofHeart
Summary: The washing machine has broken down and Tobi is not around to do the laundry, rated T for a few swear words.All of the akatsuki's involved.


I don't own naruto or bleach or whatever, I do own my brain and its telling me Write WRIITTTEE. Or type in this case…..

This was minor story that popped in to my head when my washing machine broken down.

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Tobi stared , a few beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. He quickly dumped what he was carrying on to the floor and left to write a sign . But when he was heading to the room to put it up, there came a yell " TOOOOBBBIIIIII !!!!!!"coming from the leader's room.

Running up to where the leader was , Tobi stopped "yes leader san ?"

"Did you forgot to buy groceries again ?" Leader asked.

"Oops sorry leader right away." Tobi rushed suddenly remembered the sign he was carrying. "Throw that dirty sign away already" Leader said as he returned to what he was doing .

By that time Tobi forgot what the sign was for so he tried to remember "hmm out of order now why did I write an out of order sign for ?"

"Hurry up and buy them already" leader commanded looking up from the map he was studying. " Oh right" Tobi said and ran quickly pausing to throw the sign away "ha ha I must really be losing my memory , ah well it probably wasn't important anyway …."

As Tobi rushed of to buy food little did he know the trouble that was going to happen.

"My clothes are covered in blood again." Kakuzu said" cant you just bleed a little instead of torrents? You lose more blood than a freaking blood bank"

"Fuck it if you just help me before I got fucking gutted like a butchered hog we wouldn't have been covered in my blood" Hidan retorted as he dumped his laundry into the machine.

"Were you not the one who said 'don't help me Kakuzu I can do it myself' and raving like the lunatic you are I may have lifted a tentacles to help." Kakuzu said as he grabbed a basket to dump his laundry in. "whose turn is it t do the laundry ?"

"Who the fuck cares? Its always Tobi doing it no matter who is on the roster. "Hidan said

"Alright now he better hurry up and wash these I'm on my last shirt."

"Why bother considering you don't ever wear them"

"do you think I that retarded to be sleeping in my uniform ?"

"Yes" Kakuzu said "You are retarded" and left the laundry room.

"Oi !" Hidan yelled following Kakuzu "I haven't yet finished arguing with you !!!!!"

After a while Itachi entered the laundry room followed by Kisame , "this place stinks of blood Itachi san I bet those **two **have been here first…" Itachi sign and winkled his nose in disgust "Kisame" the uchiha said softly "you smell of fish , the smell alone is worst than the blood."

"Oops" Kisame grimaced as he open the lid of the machine "Hidan that selfish bastard he dumped his clothes in first , isn't the rule to put them in your own basket and not in the machine first?" Without asking for comfirmation, Kisame dumped his washing together with Hidan's. "Kisame" the Itachi said in disgust "you dare to mix your laundry with someone else's ?"

"Why worry ? We're of different sizes so it wont get mixed up and besides I want my laundry to be washed first what's a difference with a bit more blood on it ?" Turning back to hear Itachi 's response .But Itachi had already left after he placed his clothes in his basket , "Come Kisame" Itachi said as he secretly don't wished to stay in that smelly room any longer . Kisame sighed Itachi was know for having a sensitive nose which was why he always insisted on Kisame walking slightly behind him . Kisame grinned knowing Itachi 's weaknesses and left the room .

Deidara entered alone carrying both his and Sasori 's washing , he almost choked on the smell when he opened the machine ."Too late both crazy and fishy have been here hmm." Eyes watering he casually dumped their combined washing into the machine. Taking a breath he almost choked on the combined smell of blood , fish , clay and some things Sasori use to maintain his puppets , remembering today was his turn , Deidara took a mental note to bully Tobi to do his washing.

The leader came in smelled the pile and told himself to take note not to delay his washing any longer than three weeks anymore. Leaving three weeks of his own washing by the door, he quickly left the room when he remembered something that urgently requires his attetion.

Blue hair walking passed the room took a sniff and decided to wash her own clothes by herself , the trouble of living in a house full of men was that they don't bother to take care of their washing. she thought.

Zetsu unfortunately vomited when he first entered the room and left without leaving his laundry.

Tobi came back "phew what a stink" he said when he returned to do the laundry and when he tried to on the machine , he remembered it was spoilt , leaving to write a sign , he completely forgot when Deidara came after him for touching his art. "What did you do to my Clay ?! TOBIIIIIIIIII !!!!!!"

"WAAAAAA SORRY SENPAI !!!!!"Tobi yelled doing a record sprint away from the enraged blond.

Afterwards leader gave Tobi and Zetsu a mission in which Tobi was still trying to remember what he forgotten before he left. "It must be nothing , say Zetsu san do you remember what I was supposed to do ?"

Zetsu who remembers that he still hasn't put in his washing decides to remind Tobi when they get back. "No nothing" "yup nothing" both sides said.

They were gone for two weeks or more. The pile of clothes just keeps getting higher. The first week the smell was confined mainly to the room. By the second week the smell was so strong the entire corridor was affected. Blue hair complained "You're lazy the whole lot of you, take care of your own STUPID LAUNDRY!!!!"

"Ah you must be having you period again" Kisame said mockingly. After two more tries she gave up. By the beginning of the third week the leader had enough, he called up one of those meetings , since Tobi didn't have a ring at the time he wasn't there .

"Your mission is to take care of your own filthy laundry." The leader ordered winkling his nose even though he is a hologram he can literally taste the sweat on them if he breathed through his mouth.

"But my stinking clothes are stuck to kisame's stinking clothes for so long that some sort of mushroom is on them." Hidan complained.

"Really ?!" Kisame sneered "since when did you have the balls to go inside there?"

"Not me, I saw Sasori harvesting some fungus for his poisons it was some HUGE shit." Hidan replied "no way in hell am I going there."

"Danna?" Deidara asked "what were you doing in there hmm ?"

"I checked to see whenever the machine's working and tried to do some repairs but there were Zetsu 's cousins all over the place. I only got the fungus as a bonus."

"Cousins? I didn't know I have cousins . " Zetsu asked.

"The place is infested with flies so there a few Venus flytraps growing there. The machine's broken by the way so how are we going to do our laundry ?"

All eyes were on the mysteriously clean Itachi and blue hair . While Sasori reeked of chemicals , Deidara stink of mud , Itachi was still the same extremely cleaned and groomed. Itachi "…" Blue hair smiled displaying a winkled hand " Simple wash by hand , Itachi came to me and asked me how to wash his clothes by hand last week."

"You managed to survive to get your laundry in there ?" Kakuzu was amazed both him and Hidan are on their oldest most threadbare cloaks. "who am I Kakuzu san ?" Itachi said eyes flashing.

"Don't believe a word he says he bought my spare cloak" Blue hair laughed "and I loaned my other to leader."

"What ?!" Hidan cursed . Leader coughed embarrassed. "ENOUGH WITH THIS WASH YOUR OWN LAUNDRY NOW !!!!"

"What about you ?"Deidara whined. Everyone glared daring the leader to complain. The leader sighed "Alright I'll take care of my own too."

Blue hair was happy, she get to boss everyone around. She frog-marched all of them to the laundry room and ordered them to sort their clothes. There were a few compains as everyone tried to get each other's not so disgusting laundry. Kisame and Hidan's clothes were untouched. "Anyone wanna trade with me ???" Hidan asked holding up cloak XXX in one hand and his nose shut in another hand , "no way in hell" Kakuzu replied through his special mask. She then proceeded to teach them how to wash. It was brutal .

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"Ah fuck ! there it goes, catch it Kisame !" Hidan yelped as he dropped the soap for the tenth time.

"How do i catch a bar of soap ????!" Kisame growled "I may be a water type but i'm not a soap type !"

"Ahhh Danna your chemicals burn a hold through my cloak hmm !!!!" Deidara was angry at the huge hole for the front.

"Silence my clothes are also affected. Thanks to your thoughtless dumping !" Sasori grumbled scrubbing his tent size cloak for hiruko.

"Now we'll be able to tell what gender you are !" Hiadn sneered but not before losing the soap again, "ah not AGAIN!!!"

"Serves you right get it yourself" Kakuzu noted as the bar skidded over to Itachi. Who tripped over it. "Who did it ?" Itachi asked dangerously,wet hair all over his face. Leader had enough before things could get worst he yelled " Alright let's just use jutsus !!!"

Everyone cheered, but someone whacked leader on the head. "If you tell them that, I AM GOING TO ..." blue haired threatened.

CENSORED

"Right, get back to work." Leader mumbled.

"You know i think she's denfintely having her period" Kisame whispered, Hidan nodded, "no prizes there." "Reaaallly?" Blue hair smiled behind them. "ah crap" Hidan said.

CENSORED

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When Tobi finally came back he was surprised to see everyone complaining about washing their own laundry. "My arms feels as though its gonna fall off." Deidara complained rubbing his arms. "My arms have fallen off three times already" Kakuzu reminded Deidara reinforcing his arm with more stitches.

Hidan laid on his back both arms sore and itchy from getting rid of both mold and poison mushrooms that grew on his own clothes. "is this what hell feels like ?"

"You think that's bad ? My clothes actually have mice holes through it , they crap though mine worse than yours too" Kisame said . Itachi did not say anything , he wished he could order someone else to do it.

Zetsu was glad he didn't dump his clothes in the room. Blue hair was looking smug, Leader was still unreadable as a shadow.

Tobi was happy "hey everyone guess what ? I brought a new washing machine using the money that's why I was late." Everyone stared at Tobi. "He is an idiot" "Yes he is" Zetsu murmured and escaped from the line of danger. Leader was walking towards Tobi.

Tobi was still backing away from his new purchase while the rest of the uncommonly attentive Akatsuki looked on, when he noticed the leader. "Umm leader … am I in trouble????" Tobi asked since he knew when the leader looked like that , there was trouble,

"Yes" the leader, said simply reading the instruction manual. "WHY THE HELL YOU ONLY BROUGHT ONE???"

END

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In memory of my old washing machine.

Poor Tobi always gets bullied eh?

Comments please?


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